Monday, June 14, 2010

Fond Foodie Memories

The Best shrimp cocktail i've ever had:  Prime One Twelve in Miami.  I remember handling them with a fork and knife.

The Best tuna tataki i've ever had?  Katsuya Hollywood...(i went here recently with my sis and some friends...i couldn't take my eyes of a certain stage who kept fckg up the rolls by not rolling them tightly enough.  is it wrong to think any korean girl who can make kimbap can make sushi?  it's the same thing.  oh, but our hands have the wrong pH and are too warm, blah blah.  then i'll stick my hands in the freezer and then some acid and THEN poof!  roll'em perfectly.)

The Best king crab legs i've ever had?  Rustic Inn, Ft. Lauderdale (they are the size of my arms as in not wrists, not forearms, but ARMS.  kind of unappetizingly big.  hence my reasoning for making someone else crack and remove all the meat so i can eat it with my fingers all happily.)

The Best ice cream i've ever had?  a shop in Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco.  vanilla.  HATES chocolate.

The Best steak?  Kevin Rathbun Steak...ok, i have to be honest here... being from Atlanta, i'm supposed to say Rathbun, but i actually like STONY RIVER BETTER!  SHHH!

The Best burger i've ever had?  I've never been to In N Out but i'm sure it's glorious, blahblahblah.  I'd have to say Fuddruckers because i can pile it a foot high with tomatoes.

The best moment that ever occurred in a restaurant:  At Mr. Chow in Miami Beach, we were at the bar getting drinks and a woman seated at a table eating totally FAINTED and fell out of her chair SO ungracefully.  like, kerSPLAT.  everyone in the restaurant was spooked horses and alarmed.  Our party turned and looked at her nonchalantly, glanced at one another, and turned back to the bar going, "SHOTS!!!!!!"  and proceeded to get epically shitfaced.  In retrospect, i know those days were about pure excess.  i will never forget how much wanton, degenerate fun we had.  Right now, as i eat my animal crackers leg first, i reminisce the wild days that i had--the days you only experience in your late twenties.  Well actually, it happens at 3 life stages.  First during college (when you get retarded by default cuz you're a novice), then during the late twenties when it's done with Tony Montana / George Lucas / Jay-Z godless extravagance, and then again when you have a giant midlife crisis/meltdown, i guess...but most people tend to buy cars and expensive home appliances or invest in longshots, not party like they're dangling over the edge.

We used to party within an inch of our lives, and we have God to thank for not allowing us to OD cross over to the other side.  But those days are faintly dissolving like these animal legs in my belleh.  Why?  to make room for reality.  To make room for...domestication.  To accommodate the bitch.... that is maturation.  Mellow-fication.

The way i see it, people are like fruit.  Well, i am like a fruit.  I'm probably more like a strawberry that looks super juicy but in reality is super SOUR and not yet ripe.  I tend to cling to immaturity because i fear ripening because it sires the inevitableness of rotting.  But that means i will never experience the joy of being fully seasoned and sweet.  But whose joy is that anyway? Not mine cuz i'm gonna get eaten! (such has been my half-hearted pothead-like reasoning all these years).  Thus, i remain on the cusp of ripeness; forever on the brink of greatness, but never great.  Tonight, i end this Heyward'esque slump and become ripe.  *sigh*  fruit flies... take me, i'm willingly yours.

Ripened strawberry,

Ps. Challs is smoking out my bro right now on the patio while Nick and i watch Baseball Tonight.  i'm wearing this dress from Target that's Jean Paul Gaultier.  can you believe it?  JPG for TARGET.  what is this world coming to?  i hate pot.  i don't like the feeling and i never touch it... or cigs for that matter.  The only time i smoke weed is when i'm extremely drunk.  the only downers i like are pills and whiskey--tequila is my poison but i consider that an upper because it makes me hyper and bold--and i prefer uppers just like any other good Craysian (crazy asian).  But that was all from my past life.  Today i am marching toward the dumpster and fruit flies (aka real adulthood), as aforementioned. 

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