Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The wise and quoteworthy Karl Lagerfeld spoke out on a few celebs and i found these 2 quotes applicable to certain ppl i know, especially the one on Kate Moss.  (Lagerfeld heads the house of Chanel if you didn't know...he's like this old grampa man who looks sorta like George Washington.  it's the hair).   He's very gay, very fierce, and don't ask him to remove his sunglasses because he will call you a disgusting pig without moving a facial muscle.

on Lindsay Lohan:
"Shes somebody you want to protect, because she plays dangerously with her own life. She behaves like an over-grown-up person, and that's what I like about her. It's like she's 45, but in fact, shes 20."

on Kate Moss:
"Girls have wanted to look like Kate Moss since she was an emaciated 15-year-old.  Kate Moss has a lot of courage in the way she throws her life away in a very dangerous way, but that makes her so touching."



Monday, August 30, 2010

My Friday

After a long day at work, I got home, tossed my keys in the dish, poured myself a large glass of wine and hopped into my pjs.  And then my pal Mark asks me, "How long does it take you to get ready?" I've never gotten ready so quickly in my life.  I'm talking about zero to liftoff (from pjs to full showered freshness + full makeup + curled hair) in 30 mins.

See, here's my predicament.  It's not that I'm intentionally being antisocial and avoiding going out and partying or seeing my friends.  And it's not only because I'm super exhausted all the time.  It's because I hate hate hate driving and suck at it.  So if I'm going out, I always have to be picked up.  In Atlanta, it's already understood:  girls are picked up/dropped off and they never pay for squat.  In LA, chicks drive everywhere and paying for food/drinks is pretty normal.  I'm JUST now getting the hang of it.  Maybe being a southern bellini all my life has done spoiled me.  *shrug*

Anyway, so i got scooped up and off to Hollywood we went.  When i stepped into Birds I immediately got transported back to Athens, my collegetown.  The bar was exploding with the typical Hollywood fare... those that look effortlessly disheveled but in that suspiciously calculated and deliberate way.  I bet you every single one of them were musicians of some sort.  Inneresting.  I remember watching Californication reruns and hearing a quote that went something like:  "the amount of talent in LA at any given moment is incomparable."  I believe that's true.  Well at least the amount of big dreams anyway.  It seems everyone has stars in their eyes.  *sigh*  including myself, of course.  

I squeezed my way through the crowd and signaled for the bartender: "2 shots of patron, one cran and kettle, and a miller light please!"  The total was $12 dollars.  I kinda died a little right there.  It was like PowerHour Thursdays at UGA.... and I felt right at home.  The smell of spilled beer on cracked wooden floors... the gross bathrooms.... but I loved it.  It gave me a piece of home.

I love it when you get into that inexplicable groove while conversing with a friend... I love how you can talk about meaningless nothings yet, you leave the conversation feeling so full and satisfied.  Friday was one of those nights.  It's these kinds of nights that I have with new friends in LA that I adore.  Completely unplanned and unexpected -- why is it those kind of situations that you end up having the most fun?

Gahd, i love the way Bryanboy writes.  So unique and clever and cute.  I love his fearlessness!
  • "Ecstasy dealer isdatchu?"
  • "It's not fashion-fail, it's fashion guru ahead-of-the-curve amaze."
  • "I'm gaysian and can easily pass for a pre-teen."
  • "Please tell me this is a pisstake."
  • "What kind of fuckery is that?"
PPS.  This just in~ i realize i miss home. I'm thinking about taking a holiday back to the South soon.  My sis says let's all go to Mexico and unwind.  Sounds so delicious right about now....

PPPS.  I'm not supposed to say anything, but we (our blog) might be published in the near future!  Here's hoping for the stars!

xoxo, Ast

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Heroine n. - female hero or protagonist!!

So for the first time in my LIFE ~ i'm on a mad egghunt for a mofuggin jaaaab.  I am spoll'd (paula deen accent) cuz i have never been told to get a jaaab in my entire life.  and i've always had a constant flow.  Now, i need a jaaab because that flow has become a trickle.  i can no longer travel the world and party with my sister because my grandparents are starting to get pissed.  My grandpops has glaucoma and can hardly see, but i can still detect the look of disappointment and consternation in his cloudy eyes when he looks at me.  *sob!*  So i'm trying to find a job.  Not a bartending job for fun and free alcohol.  A day job.  Can someone help me?  i'd make a killer secretary or frontdesk with my organizational skills (and killer kitten heel, business skirt, and cardigan arsenal) and i can count money faster than a bank grade bill counter machine bc i'm used to making it rain.  My grammar and paragraph editing skills are off the chain and i scored nearly perfect on the verbal portion of the SATs.  I am also somewhat funny and do not require lunch breaks because i eat through osmosis ~ touching fashion magazines. But seriously, i'd be an ideal coworker or employee, trust me!  i can pretty much do any kind of job minus hard labor.  and i'm a good writer and cute!  i will be as endearingly earnest and dilligent as a pornstar trying their best to act (despite no voice inflections or facial expressions ~ fast forward....)  So please, drop me a line!

Since the begining of time, have i, liz park, been a super eager kid on the brink of overzealousness (since before the dawn of the ADHD age).  When i was in elementary school, i experienced unfair punishment and spankings by the headmaster many times.  I look back fondly on these memories now, because i think elementary school Lizbert was a hilarious little rebel.  I had coke bottle glasses and permed hair.  I was super smart and liked to talk about disturbing things to my classmates, such as seeing my poor dead kitten with its mouth open and poop coming out of his butt cuz he got accidentally smushed by a fallen pot in the backyard.  Nothing made my heart explode with glee than the EWWWW's!!! and the GROSSSS's!!! of my fellow classmates.

In the 3rd grade, i turned in a homework assignment in which we were to write a sentence for and draw a picture of each spelling word on the week's list.  For the word "heroine" i drew a picture of a baggie with powder in it.  As if that was not enough--as if my illustration was not heroiney enough-- i drew a mofuggin syringe next to it.  My syringe looked like a space rocket.  I still remember what was going through my head:  "Since the baggie is clear and the powder is white, what color pencil do i use?  White pencil won't show up on white paper!!!  OH NO!"  So i used the sky blue pencil.  It was a totally honest mistake; and is a testament to my unintentional keenness to everything in the world--even things i did not understand at all--not to mention my slight offness as a child.  But i got in a world of trouble for it and a meeting with my mom and teacher.   

Heroine n.-female hero or protagonist.

Why did i tell you that story?  i dunno.  Sometimes i reminisce and feel a bit sad for my young self and then i look at my old self, present day, and i feel a bit sad.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Magical Vegas

My sister is right, Vegas is magical.  It's always been my playground... my Neverland.  A bottomless pit of sex drugs and alcoroll.  I've always been spoiled.  I've never waited in line.  Not only am i accustomed to getting table service, but it would always be the table smack dab in the center of the dance floor at the hottest club.  To be bluntly honest, Vegas is always a compilation of blurred nights, land lag (is it night or day?), poolside debauchery, and the bathroom pick-me-ups throughout the day.  My last trip with the boys was utter chaos.  It was a beautiful tornado-like disaster that almost...ALMOST killed me. haha.

So when I hopped a plane to Vegas for work... naturally, I was excited.  As soon as I landed, the blistering heat and smell of alcohol immediately brought back memories of my last trip.  The hotels brought back flashback images of swigging patron and doing lines in the morning.  Anyway, going for business not pleasure is completely different than going with a bunch of dudes for hard partying.  Not as thrilling, but I did meet a beautiful blond Italiano one night...that promised to whisk me away and buy me beautiful dresses.

Being hungover and tired and then having to work all day and then repeating the process for 3 days is pretty damn brutal.  I mean, I didn't even get to see my friend Vicky.  He was there for JUMP (shoes).  And I haven't seen him in AGES.  the night I arrived back at the peapod I collapsed.  I didn't unpack or eat or clean...i just walked over to the bed and just assed out.  Work has been stressful.  Being an adult is stressful. But I guess everyone goes through a rough patch.  I think this is something I'm gonna have to ride out.  Until Paris...and then New York. *wink*

I can't wait to see AlexaChung tonight.  They are the only chinamen I love to death.  Only because they're KOREANIZED.  HAHA!

Thought of the day:  It's so fun and exhilarating being a little rebel without a cause...very The Kills-ish.  My hair, clothes, and makeup are a little on the loud side and my personality is pretty anti-square.  I like to think I'm bulletproof but I'm human.  Being out here has made me realize that life is all about transformation.  I used to think that getting older meant becoming more ordinary and eventually becoming that homely housewife that guys want to marry.  I used to think that as I got older I had to wear skirts to my knees, flat shoes, hold my tongue more and smile demurely.  Now i see that we are who we are.  It's not like i need to alter myself to fit someone else's ideal.  I don't want to change myself for anybody.  Still, i don't want to be among the women who never marry or start families.  But I want these things on my own terms and I don't think i could fake being someone I'm not in the meantime.

PS.  Is dating someone 9 years my senior too much??
PPS.  Starry Hollywood nights... by my LA bestie, Dokemon.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

HULLO WOILD!  i'm back in Atlanta and poxless!  now i have super albino white spots all over my darkly tanned boday.  i look like i was totally dambaebbanged [human ashtrayed] by a chainsmoker~  so i have to go tanning until my spots match my skin because i've been noticing a few stares directed toward my neck area and i hear what they're thinking:
currently my sister is at Magic in Las Vegas and she claims she has been absolutely 100% unroofied and tame this time.  something crazy always happens in Vegas.  Why?  because Vegas is a human amusement park.  It is Pleasure Island where everyone eventually turns into donkeys.  It is a giant aquarium tank filled with just those freakyass fish from the bottom of the Continental Shelf w/ the lanterns on their heads and neon lights, crazy teef, and no eyeballs.  they're floating around all cocky in oceanic outer space like I don't need no eyeballs.  when in Vegas, i usually end up like Pinocchio, freaking out and wanting to get the eff out. 

Anyhoos, i totally saved all the pix from Astrid's facebook and posted them down there.  Look how burnt my face is!  that was from 3 hrs in the sun because i fell asleep reading a magazine sans hat or sunglasses.  dangerous!  that's cindy, eunice, and ellie ~ they're sooo much fun to kickit with.  why are pisces girls so alike?  it's uncanny.  pisces Korean girls are freaking all similar w/ similar interests, habits, hobbies, likes/dislikes, past experiences, EYES, everything!  i'm going to write a screenplay based on Pisceans.  it'll be awesome and unexpected and exciting and dangerous and glitter will spill and fishheads will roll!

What else wouldja like to know... hrm... tomorrow is my cousin Yoori's performance.  she's a jazz violinist and she got a gig downtown somewheres and i promised to be her arm haribo.  and then after is my dongseng christina's bday pahtee @ Opera.  i haven't been to Opera in nine.  Please dont be too packed, i get mild anxiety attacks if there are too many bodays in one space.  and then Saturday is Chall's 31st bday at Sound of Music.  i've never been there but i did bartend there when it was Express Bar & Lounge some 5 yrs ago.  there are gonna be like 45 ppl @ his bday.  that's a LOT of ppl so i hope SoM is adequately sized so i don't spazz.

OH wow ~ and how could i forget?  all charges in the case of the century: Walmart vs. Liz were dropped.  =)  i have, once again, a spotless record save one speeding ticket.  and all is right in the world again!  huzzah ~ and take THAT u stupid multibilliondollarglobalconglomerate!  u can't pick on me!  *fighting irish fists* *throwing absurdly economically-priced steaks at you*

LA in August...