Saturday, September 26, 2009

Extreme Celeb Crush

I never crush on male celebrities. I don't know why exactly, but i think it has something to do with the fact that my subconscious tells me to turn off the hormones because these dudes are inaccessible, unattainable, and thus impractical to crush on. I rarely even admire them - i just see them on tv and think oh. familiar face. i like his face. He's a good actor.
But something has happened.

I'm.... like, totally smitten. Smitten beyond all comprehension. I have sex dreams about him! It's BAD! i'm like a friggin horny 12 yr old boy. Please, somebody help. I need help.

Young Alexander Skarsgard aka "Eric" on True Blood. He's so adorable and has the same eyes!
Grown-up Alexander Skarsgard. Swedish sex on a stick. a very tall stick.

Even his DAD is handsome. (Stellan Skarsgard). He played the MIT professor in Good Will Hunting...the one who was frienemies with Robin Williams' character. He also played the annoyingly perfectionist director of Vince's firefighter movie in Entourage.

Interesting tidbit. Did you know that Alexander Skarsgard had a cameo in Zoolander? Think "ORANGE MOCHA FRAPUCCINO!" and irreverent spraying of gasoline. Puhaha!

AHAHAHHA!! He's in the's Meekus! LOL!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I have this fear of small, confined spaces and of heights. Sometimes, i'm afraid of large groups of people i know because i have slight social anxiety. i inwardly panic when i don't know what to say and pull the ultimate paris hilton and pretend-talk on the phone to NOBODY. but only sometimes! i'm not totally agoraphobic. from time to time i have anxiety attacks. these usually erupt the day after a night of binge drinking or....u know... like, partying too hard. i can tell when they're coming because my hands turn to ice and i have trouble breathing even through my mouth. that's why i always have xanybars in my bag. i have an unusual fear of splinters that not many people know about. if i'm going to be using wooden chopsticks (the kind you pull apart), you better believe i'm gonna be rubbing them together like i'm tryin to start a fiyah.

So today i, Elizabeth Park, faced my first aforementioned fear of confined spaces. I opted not to mystic tan and went to the beds.
i have never UV tanned before in my life, because i'm horrified by it; by the thought of lying down and not being able to move. ironically, for me to shed my vampire white skin, i have to BE A VAMPIRE and shut myself into one of these friggin UV coffins. quelle horror. seriously. the gods are cruel.
First i went to Buckhead and did the High Pressure bed and it wasn't half bad because there's no coffin lid, just a clear bed with bulbs everywhere. plus there was music coming from somewhere and air blowing on me so i felt ok and i could breathe. i took myself away to the Caribbean and imagined lying on the beach and drinking mad booze. It's ok, Liz. It's going to be over soon. You have to do this so you don't get sun poisoning again when you're in Dominican.

Afterwards, to reward myself for facing my fear, i went to Lenox and bought studded ankle boots and a fluffy pink off-shoulder cowl neck cashmere sweater dress. I zoomed to the store and showed my sister my sexybod and she was thoroughly impressed but insisted i go down the street to the Roswell tanning place and do another session. WHAT? ARE U CRAZY? her motto? "Why stick a toe in when you can cannonball?" So i went to the Roswell location in a cold sweat. And of course, they only have the coffins.


Let's skip the whole experience. I think i might've blocked most of the 12 mins i was entrapped, actually. So this is what it's like to be a hotpocket in the microwave. i almost threw the lid off and ran out of there naked. i panted and held back tears gripping the steering wheel with both hands all the way back to the store and again presented my sexybod to my sister who gasped, "WHOAH URE SO RED! WHAT HAPPENED?" She kept touching my chest and back and her palms felt so cool because my skin was on fire. or i should say, IS on fire. For here i am, currently blogging about the universally customary ordeal of facing a fear. Most fear failure, sickness, the economy, and marriage, but not I. *leaning in* tanning beds.

Anyways, here is my MAYJAH girl crush - Cheryl Cole.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Swingset, GA, my city of comfort

I write little notes and prayers on pieces of paper, tattered notebooks, napkin corners, newspapers, bathroom stalls, picnic tables, etc... anything I can scribble on with a sharpie. I really should put them all together in one place but they're scattered all over the world and I wouldn't know where to begin. I always feel better releasing my deepest feelings out into the world secretly. When I was younger, I'd write messages to God on loose leaf wide rule paper and then burn them, thinking that the ashes will float to heaven and He'd get the memo. I love listening to people talk about...well...pretty much anything. I love catching those off-guard vulnerable moments that give away the most honest glimpses into their lives. But I have a very hard time allowing people to peek into mine.

It's always been hard for me to open up to people. It sounds so cliche... i mean, everyone has a hard time opening to everyone whether it's due to fears, breakups, traumatizing experiences, etc. Up until highschool, my mum was certain i was going to have to apply for a handicap sticker. The reason? Hello, this is my daughter Esther and she is socially retarded. I was deathly shy and i never had any real friends. During recess, I was the only girl on the swing sets while everyone else was playing 4-square or kickball.

And then, something weird happened and I morphed into this loud, outgoing, candid, social machine that I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME TURN OFF SOMETIMES. Who knows why or how it happened. I can't even remember an exact time or age when it did. It just did. There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin. Maybe it got too sad and hard for me to be alone and i skipped the whole missing link part and just evolved instantaneously. *shrug*

And now i'm a new, bright and shiny silver dollar. I wasn't the popular kid at school. I wasn't vocal or always opinionated. I wasn't the skinniest, prettiest or the smartest. But i think i turned out okay.

Yet, sometimes amidst all the smoke and mirrors in my chaotic world, I revert back to that girl on the swingset. I shrink into the little kid who was always afraid of people; who would look down at her shoes when she walked and feared looking anyone in the eye. Maybe the reason it's hard for me to really let people in is because i still see myself in her, swinging alone. And when you're that young, you don't know what it means to feel sorry for yourself. you just feel sad. And the world is a terrifying place. It still is! I've come a long way, but I know I still have a lot of growing up to do. What I do know, is that as the years go by, I open myself up inch by inch. With every adventure, I embrace new facets about myself that i wasn't familiar with and I'm always wanting to discover more. The great actor Alan Alda said, "You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."

So au revoir, city of comfort. (for now).

Monday, September 21, 2009

Stream of unConsciousness...

Things My Peabrain Shall Never Unnerstand

1. Obese people that drink diet drinks. I saw a guy at the gas station buy 3 krispy kreme doughnuts and a diet sunkist. Just go all the way dude. Get whole milk! You already OBVIOUSLY let go, so why bother?

2. Paris hilton. She has the worst fashion sense i can think of. Everything she does is so matchy matchy. She is, hands down, the tackiest celebrity in the world.

3. Skinny genes. I will always secretly hate people who can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce, even after they've hit the age where metabolism becomes retarded! you freaks!

4. Korean people driving cars they can't afford. And 30k millionaires. or Credit Card millionaires. It's gotta be an ego thing. I wish i could yell in their faces, "you look re dick u lass!!" *Patricia Arquette in True Romance*

--Signing off, Peas


Ok! it's me, Liz. Yesterday, my sister and i spent a total of 5 hours at the hair salon. Disgusting. My butt was tingling so i had to keep shifting to the other cheek. i'm not that heavy, so my dual butt bones (tail bones?) become extremely sore and numb (maybe because i don't have much butt cushion for the pushin or wut nut.) When it was all done, i was afraid that my legs would just come out from under me and i'd fall over like a lego eiffel tower (aka a masterpiece). oh believe me, my hair is a masterpiece now!

Something i noticed is that my sister will be getting her hair done right next to me and will be blabbing away with her girl and i will hear her boisterous laughter even while she's getting washed out, and cracking jokes while she's getting blown out. And meanwhile, here i am with my face all pressed up into a magazine or texting away, pretending like i'm way too busy to make conversation with my colorist because i have no friggin clue what to talk about with her. I actually feel sorry for my colorist. I must be that one debby downer appointment in her long list for the day, the black spot in her perfect apple. GAH! In no better arena is the contrast in our personalities more evident than the hair salon. And there is not a more perfect place to showcase my social anxiety than in the hair salon. The one on one thing trips me up and i shrivel like a grape in the sun. and nobody likes raisins. (except me).

It's like a friggin case study. Put them in this habitat and see how they coexist with other species. Well, i'm like a tree and she's like one of those lemurs that chatter away in the trees and swing all over the place (and throw monkeypoo). I wish i was a little more social, but i leave the socializing to the socialite, to indulge to her delight. i don't even put up a fight. and it's not that i'm uptight or impolite, it's just that i turn paranoid android like someone who's high as a kite. aight?

*sigh* I wish i was not a female Woody Allen. i always say this. but there's no better way to describe myself than a little bit perverted and a little bit neurotic. i need to find a way to translate this and get across to others without seeming totally weird or totally stuck up. :/ or perverted.

anyways, here is some of our closet space. our grampa built some new shelves and racks, but last night when i was packing for Dominican Republic, i made the entire thing topple over and like 300lbs of clothes came crashing down like London Bridge. i almost got smothered! but my sister screamed for our brother to save her clothes! "aAAAHH! they're WRINKLING!!!" (grrr.)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Everybody Deserves A Star

Well, we're here at the store and this is how we dooz. sans makeup. very ghet to the toes. we mostly listen to "It Never Rains in Southern California" by Albert Hammond Jr. among other tracks by him. It seems like we travel a whole lot and our lives are very circusy, but this is not the case. This is Exhibit A. No "raccoon makeup", no napkin dresses in sight, and no booze in hand. Just work and speaking espanol. and the american flag in the background that my mom insisted on putting up quickly after 9-11. see, we're patriots, too! Uh MURR kah.

But yes. One of my biggest fears is waking up one day and looking in the mirror and seeing nothing spectacular. No greatness. Nothing accomplished with my humble life. AND, it may seem that all i care about is planning the next jetstop and the next person i'd like to terrorize, but it's not true! I cover up my insecurities with more makeup and less clothes. it's a paradox! Well, HERE I AM WORLD! i basically feel like i suck rotten eggs HARD.

but what i feel like i DO have going for me are the real bonds i've formed and friends i've made along my tornado path. you wouldn't think you could find anything stable and real admidst topsy-turviness and anarchy, but that's how it's always gone for us. a lifelong theme. beauty in the breakdown. comfort in the chaos. that's my deepness for the day. back to the shallow end of the gene pool. thas from Rion King.

btw, yes uns. i DID eat the tips off all the candy corn. And yes. you could use some eyeliner. sheesh.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

No actress i love more right now...

as Ryan Gosling puts it, she's like Clint Eastwood meets Brigitte Bardot.

my favorite songs of the moment... "Makeup" by Elefant. and "Ester" by Elefant. even tho Esther is totally misspelled.


Make Up - Elefant

Ester - Elefant

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One of My Earliest Memories

One of my earliest memories...

These were the prizes Ms. Tindall gave us in my Kindergarten class at Dekalb Christian Academy. I remember how my heart longed for one of these finger puppets and i thought they were so amazing. My sister got the same ones the next year when she was in her kindergarten class. My sister barfed on Ms. Tindall's desk one time, and i got in trouble for saying "Oh My God" because it's taking the Lord's name in vain. (I heard it on TV). I was a very bad child and always got in so much trouble.

Ok, well...i just wanted to share that. My earliest memory. Stay tuned!
xoxo, liz

Friday, September 11, 2009


Thursday Night, i rendezvous'd with Nars for cocktails @ the Glenn Hotel's rooftop bar. You can see the Atlanta skyline from up there. It's breathtaking. There's something about being elevated so high that makes everything feel sort of... dreamlike. I'm addicted to it--to that feeling of being stuck in a dream. I love dejavu. Reminds me of being under the influence of something. Well, i can't really go into the deets of our convo because it's kind of R-Rated, but i will say.....

We sorta decided that we might jet to NYC, my old stomping grounds. I have missed it. EDIT! ok, nm. i booked it today. nyc, oct 8-11th. on the first day, we'll go to Grand Central and train it to Connecticut to see our dear Bunnie. now i need to start packing. because this is me, when i'm packing for a weekend trip:

Addict. Hello, my name is Astrid Park and I am an addict. And i dont think it's necessarily a bad thing all the time. I'm addicted to espresso. If i dont have a shot in the morning I'm a grouch. Is espresso that bad for you? It's such an upper. I love uppers. I'm addicted to faux eyelashes. As you may already know, BIG is always better. My mum told me that if I absolutely must keep wearing fauxlashes, i might as well wear the more natural looking ones from the grocery store, or Sephora...*rolls eyes* but no way, mum! i have to have #111 from the Beauty Supply store for sistas and drag queens. I'm addicted to laughing. I laugh at pretty much everything and i'm so easily amused that it almost cheapens me! i'm that slightly annoying weirdo that laughs hysterically at jokes that aren't that funny. I'm addicted to school supplies. My number one obsession right now is Sharpie Pens cuz they can write on just about anything and they don't bleed through paper. O.o Ohmenahmazing! I'm addicted to watching people drink insane amounts of alcohol. For as long as I live, I'll always be blown away by the quantity of shool that some people can handle. In LA, there was this dude that chugged 1/3 a bottle of goose right before we left the club. Freakin hot.

Friday, i stayed at home with a tummy ache. I probably food poisoned mahselfs again. I have the world's most sensitive stomach. I am the pickiest eater on the planet. I'm one of those patrons that waiters and waitresses HATE because i must customize ERRYthing. ask anybooties. Saturday, i stayed indoors and drank an entire handle of crown with 3 other people. What was I thinking? We all blacked out, and the next morning, i ended up in bed with Challs and my sister was inexplicably on the floor with a towel on her. And then he dropped an entire tall glass of orange juice on her head and she woke up screaming and crying and throwing up. Gah, what a MESS. My sis and i ended up watching the Falcons game in bed, terribly sick and hungover and screaming at the tv and then moaning in pain. We were so trainwreckaged until about 4 in the afternoon. Go Falcons, btw!

Sunday, i played host to a couple of my guy friends from NYC. We went to Whiskey Blue. Gah, i was so drunk but i started downing shots left and right anyway. I felt so sick, but as i got drunker, the sickly feeling slowly went away. More alcohol is always the cure for alcohol-sickness, aye say.

cheerio! Astrid

ps. can u believe my sister hates new york? she's never liked it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Good evening to you all, netizens of the blogosphere. Early this morning, i reported to the USPoffice to file for a lost or stolen passport and to expedite a new one. Passport expedition costs 200 bones! And if i had wanted to carrier expedite it, i would've had to shell out half a grand. CRAZYBALLS! *displaying empty pockets and sadface* Where it says: Explain the circumstances of your lost/stolen passport i wrote:

"i lost it somewhere in my room! i can't find it anywhere, but i KNOW it's somewhere in my room!![ten exclamation marks and squiggly distress lines]"

What kind of 26 year old am i?? i despise me! who loses their passport in their bedroom? i'm like a friggin hoarder! *see previous entry on hoarders*

I got my picture retaken and i accidentally caught a glimpse of it when the passport lady printed it. i always have a super bloated face! Why is that? i have FFS. fat face syndrome. =( Bunnie says i look funny in all my license pictures because i get nervous and panic right before the CLICK. in my current GA Driver's license, i have black hair and bangs and am wearing a coat because it was cold outside and i forgot to take it off beforehand. now i have blonde hair and no bangs so you see, it was sorta understandable when I was nearly denied entry to a club because the bouncers believed i had a fake; understandable but extremely annoying. (this happened at a really ghettowack club that i never went back to, because they actually pat you down and that only happens at ghettowack clubs *cough* VR *cough*).

well, you wanna know a secret? *leaning in*
i honestly have a phobia of having my picture taken when i'm sober. which explains the same dead stare and vacancy in my eyes in every single pic i am ever in, basically. my veritable "opossum in headlights" expression. but anyway, i need to scan my license pic and passport pic and show you guys. it's hilarious. B exploded in laughter when i showed her. i despise me! why oh why can't i be like my sister and look so incredibly posh in important license pictures? I should scan HER pictures. in her passport, she is wearing a neon yellow dress and a tiara. i am not exaggerating. A TIARA. complete w/ rhinestones... that you wear to a prom. she could care less about judgment and has the balls of a bull in prime. and at the time, she had platinum blonde hair. In her current drivers license picture, she is wearing a gray newsboy cap cocked to the side with a shock of platinum tendrils peeking out. her face is tilted to the side and you can actually feel her hand on her friggin hip! B has seen this as well. It's absolutely insane. *shaking head* I remember at the DMV, she begged the photographer to let her keep the hat: "Please, it's my style!" i would have quickly obliged and taken it off, sheepishly touseling my hair. (because i am a pushover.)

These days i've been sad about my age, something i cannot change and something that will continue to increase, proportionately decreasing my... value. BLAST! =( ah ~ how i wish i was young and in my prime again. prime = 21-22 for females; 31-33 for males. Everything's always easier for men.... and it's a hard knock life for a beta female such as myself.

betafish liz

Monday, September 7, 2009

Countdown to the Caribbean!

Liz here. I spent a full week recovering from Ca-lifornia Lo-ove and from a milder version of the swine flu known to Lizes as the piglet cold. Honest, i even grew a mini snout! As a result of my general all-around emo-ness, i removed my false eyelashes (that never happens) and took off all my makeup and looked like a homeless 12 year old... i am also in desperate need of a dye job. i look like Carrie a few days after she gets stood up at the alter by Big--ie. horrendous. The only thing keeping me from totally letting myself go and wallowing in this baseless bout of babyness is the fact that in 20 days, we jet off to the Caribbean. Yeah, so we're a smidgen off-season, *shrug* whatevs! It'll still be tropical weather! here are some real-life pics of Bavaro Beach which is where we'll be. I hate google pictures, because they're all saturated so the beaches look bluer and stuff. these are real pix taken by real people who went there, and i stoleded them off their personal blogs. IM SORRY! you can steal my pix right back when we return! :p

oh, look at my awesome photoshopping skills. doesn't it look like i'm really there? i am so excited about the pool bar! such a hazard in theory, but proper decadence, right? i've never little mermaided it up to a Bar!! and then floated off in the water, sipping on an El Presidente like a seal eating an abalone on its back. I hope to ride a horse. my sister rode one in Jamaica and got a rash on her inner thighs. gross! i will wear proper riding clothes, and not a minidress like she probably did. i will probably be awesome at riding a horse, just like Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet. i'm pretty much awesome at everything, i suppose. *sniff, lower eyelids, toss hair*

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Sat Night Fashion Blob.

Didn't you know? Chic friends trump boyfriends as arm candy. Sorry boys.


Fashion Blobtime.

Wait!!! HALT! before i start, i am so perturbed. my Bump-its that i purchased online for 40bucks are now like 9.99 at any CVS or Walgreen! total suckage. :(

Here are the type of clothes i love and most importantly, feel comfortable in. Comfort has always taken priority over appearance and i find that i don't feel pretty in an outfit unless i'm comfortable foremost. Cropped cotton or knit tops with scooped necks paired with body-hugging high-to-middle waisted skirts, preferably above the knee as to avoid triple negs (see earlier post for the definition of triple negs - it's a huge faux pas unless you're clubbing in Vegas) topped off with some funky attention-grabbing shoes. This is the sort of outfit i'd go meet ppl for drinks in. The small sliver of flat stomach you see is so sexy, careless, and playful. That's why i would not wear a belt because belts tends to impart a constructed barbie-ness to outfits. i dislike the constructed / premeditated look. Oh, and this kind of outfit i find, is very slimming. Even if you're not comfortable baring your belleh, you can wear a longer t-shirt tucked into the skirt to a similar effect. For fall/winter season, you can add nylon tights to the equation. In cooler weather, i cannot live without black tights, wool leggings/knee highs/thigh highs.

I recently saw this candid of SJP filming scenes from the 2nd installment of the Sex and the City movie. I adore the outfit outfit through and through. i hate jeans and rarely ever wear them, but i love seeing jeans with zipper detailing on the ankles. keyword: detailing. it may be the jean pant's one redeeming quality and i might make an exception for all jeans if they feature special detailing--whether it's zippered ankles, balmain-esque distress with tatters and holes and acid wash galore, and... this is slightly off-subject, but i sorta/maybe dig boyfriend jeans... the baggy, rolled-ankle, live-on-the-beach type of jean pants. anyways, i love plaid - maybe being from the South i love it more than the avg jill shmill. i love it most when it's tied up like this. Man, i obviously like baring the belleh.

i also like the Geldof sisters, Peaches and Pixie.
i like how they roll. (with alice dellal who is too fiercity fierce).
they probably do hard drugs a little bit too often. just a leel bit.
only the Brits can do punk rock right. and make it look so freshly disintegrated.

And finally....
something i really want....
This is the Elise Overlund leather dress. yes, leather. stretchy too! the color is bone. cap sleeves. it's a showstopper, huh? a staple MUST buy.