Saturday, July 31, 2010

Today.  Going to the bazaar down the street to shop til we drop.  Santee Alley?  it looks like Namdaemun shijang in Seoul, you know?  that's some seriously fun shopping.  must take mase and not get mugged.  Tonight... hanging out with the girls in Ktown somewhere.  Time to get our pah tee on again!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Reporting Here From Killer Cali

The weather is so gorgeous here, i can't stand it.  It's so beautiful it makes my blackhearted vampire self want to shut the freakin blinds and curl up in a ball and rock myself back and forth while humming creepy tunes.  My sister's place is absurdly adorbs!!!  It's small, but kitschy and cute and i roll around on the polished cement floors because they're so just... so.... shiny.  but our mum hates it because it's very industrial with unfinished cement walls and such.  she HATES that kind of stuff while we LUVZIT.  there are metal clothes racks lining the walls so it looks like a design studio.  Right when i got there, i busted out the swiffer to make the floors rollable, STAT.  The first things that Asterisk, my mum, and i did were grocery shop our butts off to fill the fridge (all she had in there was beer, wine coolers, bottled water, Camels, tictacs, etc. ala MTV cribs or a crackhead or something... clean and scrub and dust just to make everything even cleaner cuz nothing's ever clean enough til its cleaned to deathhhh and dies....

That night we went to "the Citrus House" to meet up Eunice and Cindy who are human dolls with long skinny legs and perfect hair.  We predrank a little amongst other things... and headed out to West Hollywood to go gay bar hopping.  LA gays are different than Atl gays in that they're a lot nicer and less bitchy i think.  ATL gays don't get too thrilled when a slew of ho's walks in to their bars.... it's like when you're in an all Korean club and you see a bunch of Vietnamese dudes roll in (nothing against Vietnamese) but admit it Koreans, inwardly you think hmmmmm..... and in the same way, you can feel the ATL mo's go here come the fag hags.

It seems like LA gays are suuuper sweet and they'll even cat call and compliment and basically gush over you like they are DYINGGGGG for you to be their new fruit fly.  And inwardly, you're dyinggg to oblige... until you move on to the next gushing 'mo who is even cuter and hotter than the last.  (It's like heaven.)  We hit up The Abbey, Mickey's, and one other place i think... the walls @ Mickey's are mirrors mirrors and more mirrors.  It's hilarious watching the gays watch themselves.  HILARIOUS!!!  They're all hopped up on cocaine and steroids so you know they want to check themselves out every minute every second, no--forget this--*STAAAAAARE*.  HAAAA!  After the barhopping, we went Round 2 in KTOWN.  We danced and sang and Eunice banged on tambourines and sang the most random song by Aqua that's not Barbie Girl which is the only song i know by Aqua.  In the wee hours of morning, we went back to Eunice's cute little duplex and switched to flipflops and headed home!  It had been a perfect night.  <3

Last night, we were sooo exhausted from a long day at Ikea and Japtown so we decided to keep it low key and meet a few friends at a bar that's super close to us.  Asterisk and i walked down a few blocks to this bar called LIBRARY.  That is what i would name my bar if i opened one.  LIBRARY.  We only had like 3 drinks but i still got so drunk for some reason.  We said our goodbyes and stumbled home to 8th and Spring, passing cameramen and crew and a slew of yellow NYC taxicabs.  It's crazy how downtown LA looks so much like NYC.  When we got to our building something was being filmed and we walked right into it.  EXCUUUUUSE US!  and we didn't want to go back to our room yet so we went up to the rooftop to party some more, just me and my sister.  (lame).  It's beautiful.  From my snug spot on the lounge, I looked out at the city lights through the wispy steam rising from the jacuzzi.

Tonight i'm not sure what the plans are, but i'm a little tired from drinking.  I dropped my sister off at work so i could use her car during the day and i think my mum and i are going to do a little cc damage.  I'll write more and post pics later ~ i finally, finally have my camera back!!

Til then, xoxo my little ho's and mo's.
~ Liztronaut

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Topless.... Diamonds.... Cooking...

Doesn't get much glammer than that...
SOOOooo. I'm off to Los Angeles on a redeye tomorrow morning and i haven't even packed, but it should be easy enough. A couple spockly dresses. Some glitter. a feather boa? Just kidding, that's that Vegas/Miami package.  I picked my brother up from the Marta station a couple hours ago (he just flew in from LA) and he looked so golden and handsome and was just beaming - my mom and i huzzah'd "hail the conquering hero!" 'cos he drove across the country from Atlanta to Los Angeles to deliver my sister's car.  He was adamant on making the trip alone so he could pass all the major US cities and make pitstops at drawn-out iconic points... and just see our country.  Memphis, Oklahoma City, Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and make the 6hr hike, etc. etc. Through the Great American Plain, Midwest, the Southwest, the Hemingway of him.  Ask him about his funny story from the Grand Canyon - some cartoony squirrel jumped on his leg as he was resting on a rock eating beef jerky so he gave the crazy squirrel a piece and it just sat there on his leg, holding the jerky in its hands and gnawing.... staring up at him in adoration.  PUHAHA!  Here's the pic my brother sent me as proof.  How bizarre how bizzare! (like the song).  i would've reached out and touched it (like the song).

Here's me and Kells ~ she's ggamjjik as a danchoo (cute as a freeeeaking button) and i adore her! This was at Doraemi last week or something...

Ok, so today's topic of discussion before i'm sidelined with indefinite laptop access (total injury for a pro blog player like me) because macbooks are my handicap and my sister has a macbook and ain't no way i'm taking my dell over there (too big and heavy).... blah blah anyways lakasaid... today's topic of discussion is hipster boys.  They are always suuuper skinny and pasty with thick, dark eyebrows like Jason Schwartzman (who i do actually love, esp in the movie Funny People) and Spock from StarTrek.  For some reason i cringe when i see hipsters who are older than 25 with their stupid t-shirts and skinny jeans.  like Pete Wentz... who is a hipster gremlin or something.  I'm not trying to be mean, but it's like seeing those older dudes who have one pierced ear with a silver hoop in it.  like Iron Chef host, Kevin Brauch.

we've all been through our hipsterrible phases so i can't hate.  it just looks goofy now, that's all.  it looks like the tackiest parts of shibuya mashed with the cool stuff jacked from rock'n roll and you can't just pick'n pan and take the cool stuff from rock'n roll cuz it renders it all uncool when you combine it with something else.  do you kinda get my gist?  oh, and btw, hipster and indie are totally different.  hipster is like omygad please recognize that i'm indie.  indie is omygad please recognize that i'm good and sign me, cuz i am broke and homeless and golden.  i dunno ~ im basically rambling because i drank soooo much coffee and cranberry juice and peeing like a muther and im just writing anything that zaps into my head.  penis. Penis. PENISSSS!  OH! BTW!  Jamal Lewis came into my store about 20 mins ago to buy a $2400 money order.  he probably weighs like 300lbs or something.  ps. i wish i was @ Comic-Con right now. =(

Monday, July 26, 2010


  I`m a girl from a good family who was very well brought up. One day I turned my back on it all and became a bohemian. ”

Saturday, July 24, 2010

She's Still the Best... Korea, anyway.

Oh, btw. I added Nouvelle Vague to our playlist. Lovemaking music.  Or late night cafe haunt music.  Totally makes you feel like you're in a... pablo picasso breton stripes movie, or something like that.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

An Indecent Proposal

So i have this rather glamorous dilemma.  Just kidding, it's not, really.  

I've been commissioned by a certain well-known talent manager (whom i cannot name for legal and personal reasons) to do a particular job that entails using all my conversational and drinking and entertaining skeez all rolled up together in a sequined, feathery-lashed package.  One evening of business + pleasure in - where else - VEGAS, duh. 

The target?  A lucrative video game honcho.  The mission?  SIGN HIM.  The payoff?  Cash....

A lot.

This may sound dorky as hell, but i feel like a spy or secret agent.  I wasn't born yesterday, so i can see how this job borders on sordid, but do not underestimate my ability to remain on the honorable side of things.  Straddling the line is near impossible, but it is still possible.  And my mama didn't raise no fool~ I know things can get out of hand pretty quickly but it's up to me to totally nix that as a valid option.

Cross your fingers and toes and eyes for me, dear readers!

Our new playlist is Eels: "The Look You Give That Guy" and "Spectacular Girl" and the rest all Pinback. they are "devastatingly awesome" as my sister says, because they create a tone and atmosphere and then you get lost inside it, "like you're in a movie."  The tracks are:  Fortress, How We Breathe, Good to Sea, Boo, Tres, and of course Loro (one of our old classic favorites). 

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Liz & Astrid Shall Hereby Forevermore Remain Impartial To:

the tragic heroine

breton stripes


script tattoos

rich, decadent, marie antoinette brocade and adornment

male bedhead

fatherly love and affection

women who understand all that encompasses being a former fattymelt turned grade A angus burger or former ugly duckling turned swan... and remain gracious and humble.

seriously funny guys like Tosh.0, Joel McHale, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Zach Galifianakis

bloody mary mix on the airplane


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

"The nicest memory I have of him is when we went down to his family's property in Costa Rica, and we'd eat these mangoes for breakfast. River had them dripping all over him. When he ate, he ate with his hands. For me, he'll always be that beautiful, drippy mess."

--Samantha Mathis on River Phoenix

For some reason, this quote has always stuck with me in my brain... perhaps because it is so visually resounding.  i can smell mangoes in the jungle.  or maybe because it hit a heart nerve... 

beautiful, drippy mess.

Monday, July 19, 2010

And this time, the justice system prevails... You're 1 for 2.

Many of you might know about the armed robbery of our store in 2006.  I got pretty injured and to spare you all from turning this into a sob story, let's just say it was a long four years that culminated in me finally testifying in court in front of a full jury this year.  I forgave the defendant in the microphone for what he did while he squirmed and averted my gaze.  Today the US Department of Justice sent me a certified letter.

Re: United States v. Eric Michael Brown
Case Number 2009R*** and Court Docket Number: 09-CR-003-***

Dear Elizabeth Park:

The United States department of Justice believes it is important to keep victims of federal crime informed of court proceedings.  This notice provides information about the above-referenced criminal case.

Defendant Eric Michael B**** has been sentenced by the Court.  The Court ordered the defendant to the following:  

Incarceration of 12 year(s) 1 month(s)
Followed by Supervised Release of 5 year(s).

I didn't even read the rest of the letter because i was inundated with this feeling of... peace?  happiness?  resolve.  I really believe in God - as messed up as i may be sometimes.  I don't know what i did to deserve such mercy and grace. 

PS.  the cool thing i got out of this whole ordeal is that i have a few buddies in the FBI now.  AND i have a direct line with the Deputy Chief of National Security and Violent Crime.  isn't that freaking COOL!?  they're like my celebrity pals!

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.  
-William Shakespeare

We all know... Hyori is the most beautiful Korean woman alive.

Hyori Shrine of (what i consider to be) her best editorials.