Wednesday, December 30, 2009


This year, I want to push my walls down, jump over the fence and be more brave. It may sound funny for someone like me to have this resolution, but I am timid. If I'm thrown into a tough situation, I won't shrivel up like a raisin and honestly, i'll probably conquer my prob... but I put up guardrails so that I won't need to face sticky messes. I guess it's human nature to want to be comfortable and safe all the time, but how will I ever find out what I'm really made out of, if I'm living behind a pea-made forcefield?

Being brave ties into my second resolution: Take more risks. My sister is my ultimate safety net. I can't imagine my life without her. That being said... I don't ever really do anything unless she's by my side. I excel at everything when she's physically next to me or in the vicinity. I know it sounds pathetic, but I make my move mirroring hers. She's the one person in the world that will always have this mystical power over me. If she says pigs fly, guess what you guys?!?!? THEY FLY!!! I feel like this year will teach me a new level of independence. And in all honesty, it's terrifying. But at the pit of my stomach, I know I have to take more risks in my life. Jump, then fall, regardless of whether or not my sister already leapt.

Attempt 35478942321321654 to quit smoking...or at least cut back substantially. When i die, i don't want to leave all frail & fallin apart... i wanna go out with a BANGARANG! An explosion that shoots out shards of rock candy, gummy bears and confetti. oh and glitter! I can't forget the glitter. Death & Glitter.

Life is a big celebration, is it not? A huge gogo disco party rave with crazylights. At work, at home, in your significant other's's a grand ball. Why waste it twiddling your thumbs doing nothing, or worse, stressing about everything? In a blink of an eye, it will all be over and you'll have nothing to show for it, except maybe a 401K account. I think too much.
I should stop and just go where the tornado takes me.

I guess what i'm saying is i'm kinda tired of going through life evaluating pros and cons at every turn, because sometimes you gotta follow the white rabbit down the hole and just see where it goes. Seems kinda like this perspective is a lil dangerous, like throwing caution to the wind, but how else will i ever make the most of anything, if i'm always partial to the cons. There will ALWAYS be cons. right?

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