Monday, January 4, 2010


We rang in the New Year with confetti, partyfavors, shots, and kisses. I kissed 4 people. Yep! I tried to keep the drinking among other things to a minimum, because i was sort of the designated driver. HOWEVS, by the end of the night, i ended up hitting a curb so hard it sounded like something friggin EXPLODED and i was forced to pull over. What happened is that i thought i could change into the next lane but as it turns out... IT WASNT A LANE, IT WAS A MEDIAN. Thank you JAYZUS, i did not get a DUI. I got yelled at and boy did it sober me up something wicked fast. Bonbon changed my tire whilst i cursed maselfs and whimpered from the 20deg cold and -100deg windchill. I felt like an emperor penguin. Except without the rest of the emperor penguins. Emperor penguincicle. Bonbon--that little mafia princess is a friggin MacGyver. As i watched her pump and pump and turn and turn the crowbar one zillion times, i felt my drunken admiration grow and grow until i wanted to cage her and keep her as my pet and feed her M&Ms. I captured her Rescue Rangers moment in all its glory.

So that was pretty much the middle of our wild fiasco of a night. It actually ended with the girls all abusing a little substance (that's how you know we're stick-a-fork-in-us-DONE), drinking some more, pigging out on bbq chicken&potato salad&corn salad, random people stumbling in at 3 am and everyone going ???, some more drinking, people passing out on the couch, and then finally--5 people passing out in one bedroom. 2 on the bed, 3 on the floor! I was sandwiched in between my sister and Bonbon. Between the three of us, do you realize how many hair extensions that is?

The next morning, my sister and i had to be at my grandparents' house by noon. I was so unbelievably drunk. I actually remained drunk throughout the New Years festivities. I am just really good at masking it. I am omazing at masking it. Whilst i ate my mandoo and ddukgook, i may have puked a little bit in my mouth. But nobody suspected. Because i am omazing. While my sister and i bowed to our grandparents, i may have puked a little bit in my mouth from bending over. But my omazing abilities kept me from being discovered. Wow, look at our morning-after-the-club hair. That is directly from the smoky club right into your living room, folks. Disgusting. I also decided to put on my one man variety show. Awesome.


So, that brings us to the beginning of the night, doesn't it? It began calmly, with me and Astrid getting dressed and doing our hair and makeup, taking a few shots, waiting for a few peeps, and getting into the car. Little did we suspect that the night ahead would be full of hockey players, the FBI, manymany trips to the ladies room, and flat tires.

Here to recap the beginning of the night, here's Astrid Park. HIT IT.

Taking over! Eric's hockey buddies got a table at Life. Whose grand idear was it to throw a pea into a sea of hunkyhotness??! *swoon* Who do I send the thankyou card to??! Man, do they love pounding the booze. Canadians are my soulpeople. Do a lil dance, make a lil love, get down tonight. I heart Liz! She's Sully's wife and she's such a doll! I made her pound whiskey like a Korean, puhaha! Two Lizes in a pod!

Nars was gracious enough to let me wear her beautiful unworn dress for NYE since she was a good girl and went to church with her family. I have a strict don't lend/borrow brand-new, still-with-tags clothing to/from gfs policy, but she insisted because she's a doll. I have a ritual before going out. First i tie my hair into a high bun atop my head. Secondly, i erase all traces of the day's makeup. Thirdly, i do the Coon makeup: I pile kohl above my eyelids sky high and line the bottom with Makeup Forever black pencil liner. Then I glue on the thickest, longest, most obviously faux lashes. i have pretty good skin so i only need bronzer. Now it's time for hair. I unleash the mane and section, spray, and tease the crown sky high. Last is clothes. After fitting, I dance around the room, bend over, stand back up, dance some more. DURNIT!! I can't wear panties. WHO GOES COMMANDO IN A MINI DRESS?!?! evidently, i do. I hope there aren't any crotch shots floating around. How mortifying. How careless. How peasinanutshell.

That night, I did meet the most interesting person though. He was standing in the corner of the bar smoking a Cuban. AND OF COURSE, i shimmied my way over there to say hello. I continued to ask him query after query about the authenticity of his so-called Cuban cigar. To my amazement, i find out he's an undercover FBI agent!! And yes, i am gullible when shwasted, but he gave me his card, flashed his badge AND i saw the gun. I believe. Special Agent G*****l B****** with tobacco firearms and explosives. The Cuban was snatched out of the evidence room. HAHA, lovesit. I whispered to my sister and Bonbon that he was actually a narc and they got REEEEEALLY paranoid! HAHA! Suckers.

I don't really remember much except i left with Jungha headed for Perimeter, both of us screaming and demanding that an invisible person in the car would make us ramen, like, right now. She pulled over and threw up, I giggled like a madwoman, and we continued on to our destination. We got there and someone offered us pineapple express. Of course, we obliged. Don't remember much after that.

As expected, NYE was a blur. A wondrous, spectacular blur of colors and fuzzies, death and glitter. As my sister already mentioned, i woke up skooshed. I didn't even get a blanket. Bonnabelle and my sister hogged all of it. I was on the carpet. cold. wearing men's clothing, hair all knotted in one big ball. makeup shmeared everywhere like pate on gourmet water crackers. and a little drool puddle next to me. How faboosh. The next morning, we had to be at our grandparents' house by noon. I was so unbelievably drunk as well. I remember bowing to my grandparents and within those 4 seconds you have to keep your forehead on the floor, thinking in my head that i was going to keel over on the carpet and not get back up. And i remember my sister air guitar strumming with a real guitar and making the ugliest effing faces ever.

Here are our Family New Years Day Pix!

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