Monday, July 12, 2010

Youth is like diamonds in the sun.... and diamonds are forever

I wonder, as we get older, do our personalities regress back to our childhood personalities?!?  Because lately, people are exclaiming how shy I am, which is pretty weird for me to hear.  Well, I used to be the shyest little alien ever.  My mum was afraid that i had social problems or might be autistic... no joke.  I had letters sent home from my teachers expressing their concern because i could hardly speak to people, let alone participate in class.  I was afraid to talk and express myself verbally or physically.  I watched people with the biggest awe that only children can feel.  I had to talk to counselors and psychologists.  I was strange and full of fear at the whole wide world. 

And then, almost overnight... I burst into flames and became this raging socialholic.

The great thing about moving to a new city is the luxury of being able to reinvent yourself.  Of course reputation follows you to a certain extent... but for the most part, you get a clean slate.  As much as i love meeting new people, I've been trying to focus as much as I can at work and just soak in my atmosphere.  When people ask me what I do for a living, I respond, "I work in fashion".  I still feel giddy and all bubbly inside when i say it.  To me, it seems surreal.  I work retardedly long hours and slave away, but at the end of the day, it's so easy for me to say, "I love my job!"  I read an article about how Nicole Ritchie won Entrepreneur of the Year at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards for her House of Harlow jewelry line.  It's pretty damn amazing how someone who was the quintessential party girl / drug abuser turned out to be successful at doing something she loves.  Being here has made me feel like I can do anything I set out to do.  Already, the journey has been thrilling~!

So, living alone downtown has made me finally understand why people get into relationships JUST for the hell of it.... so they won't have to be alone.  It makes complete sense.  Last week, I contemplated getting a bf just because.  I said to mysef, "the first new person I'm introduced to, I'm gonna date".  And he was a chinaman.  Oh noes.  I can't get myself to date a chinaman.  (inside joke, i'm not really that racist don't worry.)  As much as I hate being alone when I get home, I don't think I could ever go out with someone out of necessity.  Sure, it's easier and way more convenient... but I want electricity.  Naiive?  Maybe...Probably.  It's funny because I'm the most impatient person in the world... except when it comes to relationships and boys.

Anyways, i can't wait til the end of this month.  My mom and sister are coming and staying with me indefinitely.  I'll probably end up kidnapping both and making them live with me!


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.