Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Yuh-dongsaengs [Little Sisters]

i always feel like an alien around my female peers.  like no matter what i do or in whatever situation, i somehow always manage to seek out and lock in on how to be the outsider.  i'm like an awkwardness-seeking missile and that's something i can't shake - my unsmoothness.  and it's hard to come across people who understand and who won't misread my intentions.  my oldest friends (like karleen and hanna and the gang) don't count because they don't count as girls.  they're super gangsta Thai ladyboys.  and you know.... if they're gangster LADYboys, they are truly the essence, the very serum, of GANGSTAHHH (because the gay villains are always the baddest mofos of the bunch.  Look at Omar in HBO's The Wire.  that is one Shakespearean villain of Biblical proportions--HOWEVER!  Omar is still somehow so human and sympathetic at the same time - so as not to tip over to, like, Satanic villainy [a la Heath Ledger's Joker).

Recently, i came to the realization that i seriously eepbbuh hae [translation... umm.. lovepet? nono.... heart] my yuh-dongsaengs [little sisters] a lot.  In Korean culture, we kinda act like society's a big sorority so if you're older than someone, you are their big sister/brother.  (Well, South Korean culture, anyway. in the North everyone's your comrade, like 1917 Russia.)

I love being around younger girls and i love having fun with them and showing them a good time.  Is that creepy?  I thought about this while i was eating pickling cucumbers dipped in red pepper paste.... and then i reached the conclusion that it's because i am so used to being an older sister that i feel most comfortable taking care of girls that are younger than me; hence my affinity for surrounding myself with them.  I feel most confident in my ability to not be a weird alien around them.  And a part of my long-ago loveless, friendless self wishes i'd had an older sister type to look out for me, too.  I feel my heart swell up when they call me "unnie" [big sister] or when they get all excited to see me or something.  Have you seen "Despicable Me"?  Well I feel like Agnes upon seeing a stuffed fluffy unicorn:  "ITS SOOOO FLUFFYYY!!" 

My yuh-dongsaengs (regardless of how well i know them or how often i've hung out with them) are like my fluffy unicorns.  And i can get away with loving them from afar because i am not an old white guy, but a cute Korean girl.  Ah~ the perks, the perks.

i now leave you with this brazilliant piece of art which i must blow up, print, and frame.

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