Friday, July 30, 2010

Reporting Here From Killer Cali

The weather is so gorgeous here, i can't stand it.  It's so beautiful it makes my blackhearted vampire self want to shut the freakin blinds and curl up in a ball and rock myself back and forth while humming creepy tunes.  My sister's place is absurdly adorbs!!!  It's small, but kitschy and cute and i roll around on the polished cement floors because they're so just... so.... shiny.  but our mum hates it because it's very industrial with unfinished cement walls and such.  she HATES that kind of stuff while we LUVZIT.  there are metal clothes racks lining the walls so it looks like a design studio.  Right when i got there, i busted out the swiffer to make the floors rollable, STAT.  The first things that Asterisk, my mum, and i did were grocery shop our butts off to fill the fridge (all she had in there was beer, wine coolers, bottled water, Camels, tictacs, etc. ala MTV cribs or a crackhead or something... clean and scrub and dust just to make everything even cleaner cuz nothing's ever clean enough til its cleaned to deathhhh and dies....

That night we went to "the Citrus House" to meet up Eunice and Cindy who are human dolls with long skinny legs and perfect hair.  We predrank a little amongst other things... and headed out to West Hollywood to go gay bar hopping.  LA gays are different than Atl gays in that they're a lot nicer and less bitchy i think.  ATL gays don't get too thrilled when a slew of ho's walks in to their bars.... it's like when you're in an all Korean club and you see a bunch of Vietnamese dudes roll in (nothing against Vietnamese) but admit it Koreans, inwardly you think hmmmmm..... and in the same way, you can feel the ATL mo's go here come the fag hags.

It seems like LA gays are suuuper sweet and they'll even cat call and compliment and basically gush over you like they are DYINGGGGG for you to be their new fruit fly.  And inwardly, you're dyinggg to oblige... until you move on to the next gushing 'mo who is even cuter and hotter than the last.  (It's like heaven.)  We hit up The Abbey, Mickey's, and one other place i think... the walls @ Mickey's are mirrors mirrors and more mirrors.  It's hilarious watching the gays watch themselves.  HILARIOUS!!!  They're all hopped up on cocaine and steroids so you know they want to check themselves out every minute every second, no--forget this--*STAAAAAARE*.  HAAAA!  After the barhopping, we went Round 2 in KTOWN.  We danced and sang and Eunice banged on tambourines and sang the most random song by Aqua that's not Barbie Girl which is the only song i know by Aqua.  In the wee hours of morning, we went back to Eunice's cute little duplex and switched to flipflops and headed home!  It had been a perfect night.  <3

Last night, we were sooo exhausted from a long day at Ikea and Japtown so we decided to keep it low key and meet a few friends at a bar that's super close to us.  Asterisk and i walked down a few blocks to this bar called LIBRARY.  That is what i would name my bar if i opened one.  LIBRARY.  We only had like 3 drinks but i still got so drunk for some reason.  We said our goodbyes and stumbled home to 8th and Spring, passing cameramen and crew and a slew of yellow NYC taxicabs.  It's crazy how downtown LA looks so much like NYC.  When we got to our building something was being filmed and we walked right into it.  EXCUUUUUSE US!  and we didn't want to go back to our room yet so we went up to the rooftop to party some more, just me and my sister.  (lame).  It's beautiful.  From my snug spot on the lounge, I looked out at the city lights through the wispy steam rising from the jacuzzi.

Tonight i'm not sure what the plans are, but i'm a little tired from drinking.  I dropped my sister off at work so i could use her car during the day and i think my mum and i are going to do a little cc damage.  I'll write more and post pics later ~ i finally, finally have my camera back!!

Til then, xoxo my little ho's and mo's.
~ Liztronaut

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