Saturday, July 10, 2010

I currently feel like i am wasting away.  I lost like a trillionbazillion ounces in the past week and am lightheaded all the time.  It's from drinking.  For some reason, i always lose weight from alcohol consumption.  Probably has something to do with it being a massive diuretic for me and i piss out every ounce of fluid in my body.  Then i get the squirts which takes the piss out of my poos and even further turns my body into the Sahara desert.  =(  I know, i know...what happened to fighting the good battle against the demon rum?  Well i'm kind of in the dumps because i have a motherfreakin criminal record now.  Errrr...not really, but it's still a blemish on my previously immaculate record.  (I never even got speeding tickets because i drive like a granny, squinting and everything).  And now all that's shot to hell because i got wrongly screwed by a multimillion dollar chain and the justice system and now i don't give a hootenanny. =*(  Is this what repeat offenders and probation violators feel like?  i feel you brethren.  *fist tap* *full body bump*

So yeah, i've been drinking every night.  Last night i drank soju with Nicky and the night before i went to Applebees to chug their strawberry margaritas (that give me heartburn like a mother, but they are so delicious i take the pain willingly).  And the night before i went to Platinum Blue and gulped blueberry sake cuz i felt BLUUUU~oooh~wooo~ UUUE.... (sing it leann rimes)

i even capped these drunken nights by smoking a little cheebs (which i hadn't done in forevs b/c i actually HATE it b/c THC makes my face bloat).  so now my face is fat and my body a stickbug so i look like allegra versace.  or a SouthPark ethiopian.  And i'm going out again tonight for someone's farewell party~

*sigh* Well, it's over now and i need to quit using this as an excuse to go on a week-long bender.  You can't trick me, subconscious!  I'm smarter than you, id!  But anyhoos, I've been thanking God for adding into my arsenal just another random funny story with which i can entertain ppl and bring joy to mean ppls hearts by giving them fodder and fuel to ridicule me... and for giving me just another memorable life experience.  


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.