T h e P a r k S i s t e r s

I currently feel like i am wasting away.  I lost like a trillionbazillion ounces in the past week and am lightheaded all the time.  It's from drinking.  For some reason, i always lose weight from alcohol consumption.  Probably has something to do with it being a massive diuretic for me and i piss out every ounce of fluid in my body.  Then i get the squirts which takes the piss out of my poos and even further turns my body into the Sahara desert.  =(  I know, i know...what happened to fighting the good battle against the demon rum?  Well i'm kind of in the dumps because i have a motherfreakin criminal record now.  Errrr...not really, but it's still a blemish on my previously immaculate record.  (I never even got speeding tickets because i drive like a granny, squinting and everything).  And now all that's shot to hell because i got wrongly screwed by a multimillion dollar chain and the justice system and now i don't give a hootenanny. =*(  Is this what repeat offenders and probation violators feel like?  i feel you brethren.  *fist tap* *full body bump*

So yeah, i've been drinking every night.  Last night i drank soju with Nicky and the night before i went to Applebees to chug their strawberry margaritas (that give me heartburn like a mother, but they are so delicious i take the pain willingly).  And the night before i went to Platinum Blue and gulped blueberry sake cuz i felt BLUUUU~oooh~wooo~ UUUE.... (sing it leann rimes)

i even capped these drunken nights by smoking a little cheebs (which i hadn't done in forevs b/c i actually HATE it b/c THC makes my face bloat).  so now my face is fat and my body a stickbug so i look like allegra versace.  or a SouthPark ethiopian.  And i'm going out again tonight for someone's farewell party~

*sigh* Well, it's over now and i need to quit using this as an excuse to go on a week-long bender.  You can't trick me, subconscious!  I'm smarter than you, id!  But anyhoos, I've been thanking God for adding into my arsenal just another random funny story with which i can entertain ppl and bring joy to mean ppls hearts by giving them fodder and fuel to ridicule me... and for giving me just another memorable life experience.