Wednesday, January 19, 2011

So here i am, listening to Strawberry Fields Forever and reminiscing my early 20s when i listened to music like the world was crumbling and it'd save me from drowning.  My headphones would keep me afloat.  I have so many photos of when i was in college and was obsessed with the color orange and dinosaurs and i liked to put on UFO's and belly tees to go to class like a baby raver.  I had a clear adidas bookbag and you could see my baby blue metro PCS phone in the front pocket along with my awesome Korean .5 mechanicals.  I dressed like sporty spice.  sigh.  Time mellows us out and borings us up.  Maybe these attributes i shall pass to my children.  I remember when my first boyfriend would make fun of me and call me "weird."  It was a total revelation to me, because for the first time ever i felt foolish and sheepish and second guessed myself about everything because i wasn't very confident at the time.  It was the first time i ever tried to assimilate and be a "normal" Korean chick.  He liked dark makeup so I discovered eyeliner and kohl.  He liked lacoste polos and blue jeans and Juicy Couture (which was big at the time) so that's what i started wearing.  He didn't like my weird music so i felt stupid for getting him a Dean Martin album.  i was just young, impressionable, a virgin, and totally wide-eyed.... desperately people-pleasing.  I learned a lot from that relationship and it was my first gigantic step toward independence.  It feels like a lifetime ago and i was a completely different girl.  What a massive difference 5 yrs can make....      

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