T h e P a r k S i s t e r s

It just dawned on me for no reason that everything i wear is Forever21 or my mother's circa 1960-1980 or someone's mother's from somewhere in America who donated it to the Salvation Army and it somehow ended up in Georgia into my paws, and of course, there's the rare and random designer label tossed into the fray for good measure. I don't own many designer label threads. I like to clothe myself in trash with the occasional fur to hide it. I wish i could be a silk-drapen kewpie doll w/ exaggerated eyes and a kohl mole, but i'm more like... i dunno, Oliver Twist? Please sir, i'd like some more glamour! *my best british accent*

ANYHOOS, Chelsea Handler, I LOVE U SO.

She is the funniest woman on television. Hands down. No competition. I freaking adore her. To sum her up in all her Jewish glory, one word: deadpan.

Speaking of embarrassing, she shares that her family is totally embarrassed by the things she says:

Yes, they are completely embarrassed. My dad threatened to sue me. I was on 'The Today Show,' and I said he's dating his 20-year-old Jamaican cleaning lady and he said, 'Please don't say that. I don't want people to think I'm off the market.' And I'm like, nobody wants you on the market, because you're so gross and you look like a bowling ball. Then he said that he could sue me and I said, 'No, because you'd have to borrow the money off me to sue me, so no.'