Princess Peanonoke

This is my current favorite pic of my sister, because

she looks like Princess Mononoke.

GROOL!

Ps.  this is random, but the way Bobby Flay cringes in displeasure and is barely unable to conceal his vexation whenever he WINS the throwdown vs. whatever-mom-and-pop-shop he challenges, makes me love him more.  

Blue Valentine

i am reeeediculously overexcited and anxious for this film's release so i can go see it.  Hopefully the mpaa will lift the NC-17 rating (allegedly for an oral sex scene!  which brings me to ponder...why is it that when women are on the receiving end, a film's slapped with the nc-17 commercial kiss of death?  when it's a dude on the couch or getting road head its funny and Rated R)... annoying double standards.

I hope Michelle Williams gets an Academy Award for this movie.  i just know she probably killt it!
 

Ode to The Sixties

If there is any era that I could possibly want to be a part of... it's the sixties.  I mean, I'm sure that's pretty obvious: Miniskirts, kohl and lashes, big hair, the rise of feminism, Woodstock, Motown, the Stones, The Velvet Underground, Breakfast at Tiffany's, la Nouvelle Vague, Mary Poppins, Twiggy, Jane Birkin, Francois Hardy, the bikini, speed, weed, Kennedy.  I know I must have been born a hippea in another lifetime.  That, or maybe a squirrel.  I have a limited attention span and I constantly forget where I place things.  Anyways, i wish i had been around to see these things during the sixties.  i even love the tackyass wallpaper and interior decorating of the time.

"Sweetness, sweetness never suits me, when I get up to take you home
Maybe it's love, love at first slightly drunk
Now I'm walking with the sun in my mouth"

Thanks to Geoff Okifanoki, Karleen and I got to see Stars perform @ the Variety Playhouse.  Let me pause a moment to say that they're mind-blowingly orgasmic live.  The crazy lights that accompanied the music were a marriage made in studio 54 heaven, the base pulsed through the melody like the blood through a house DJ's veins, and the drummer headbanged and flailed his arms like the exorcism of emily rose.  AND THEN.  the mellifluous (word of the day) voice of Amy Millan, age 37 and preggos.  Bedecked in her gold metallic leggings and armed with her pristine white guitar, she played a devilishly good show that knocked my bowed ankle socks off.  I sat there stunned, mesmerized and peagreen with envy.  You see, my puppies, my secret dream is to be the frontwoman of an indie rock band.  I don't know why I never really actively pursued it... i guess the idea of being on stage was always wishful thinking... a dream within a dream.  It's almost at that level of wanting to become an astronaut or finding the cure to cancer.  In fashion, you start at a young age.  Models are 15, internships begin at 18, designers are now budding by the age of 21.  Musicians, however don't follow this formula.  Like Millan, Emily Haines, lead singer of Metric, is 36 and she's still shredding it.  *sigh*  My sister and i are obsessed with Metric and Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton, as you could probably tell from our playlists.

 
Anyway, concert hopping is my newest hobby.  Later this month I'm gonna catch The National and Metric.  Music is my drug...well...one of my much healthier drugs.  *dr evil pinky to mouth* muhahaha!

I went on a shopping binge with Nars the other day.  (bad drug).  We got to talking about weddings. Like seriously peoples, in Atlanta it's crazy:  the older women get... the more they want to get married... and a lot of them get so desperate like there's NO TIME LEFT!!!  I get sad thinking about this.  and then I wonder to myselfs...but I'm 26...i should want to get married and pop out mini peas too!! I must be missing the gene. Or maybe it just hasnt hit me yet.  It's just that there's so much I haven't done yet.  I haven't been to paris or tokyo.  I haven't started my indie rock band.  I haven't shopped at the markets of marakesh yet or had sex in a movie theater.  but most importantly, I haven't found my niche.  My ideal husband would have to be able to keep up with me and want to constantly explore and learn and be able to do a cartwheel in public, just to amuse me.  HAHA.  My clown. 

Later after shopping, I had coffee with my newest friend, Paige.  We were discussing the modern day relationship and how cheating has become normalized and even accepted.  How men are in committed relationships, yet have flings and side women.  And how the main woman/gf/fiance must be strong enough to be able to look the other way.  There is a fascinating article in Men's Health, btw, regarding this topic.

Something else that has been completely normalized is cocaine. COCAINE COCAINE COCAINE EVERYWHERE!!  I mean come on...there's no difference between a recreational cocaine user and an addict.  This is badnewsbears.  Of course i don't condone it.  And i know there can be negative aspects of being blunt and having nothing to hide... esp when it comes to censoring myself in discussing my biggest vices.  But i like my lack of dirty laundry.  It never ceases to amaze me how everyone does it.  Everyone asks me for it.  Everyone has "Dealer" in the D section of their phonebooks.  If ure sitting there thinking, omagosh, how terrible ~ guess what?  ur bff does it and the girls ure with ~ what do u think they're taking bathroom trips for at the club?  We all have our little probs and faults.  but let me just warn u:  once u get started, it's hard to stay away.  someone famous once mused, "what does it feel like? it feels like you want more."  that's all i'm going to say about that. 

Anyways.  It's time for Changes.  A few of us are taking a little weekend getaway to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina on Friday.  I get to see the ocean.  and meditate.  a mini Promises session for me....

Ha HA.  Don't cry for me, cyberland.
Peas

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger!

I used to be platinum.  And pinkimum.... and cardamom...

I mean, who the hell did I think I was??

You may remember this peatarded collage from my ilovepeas xanga days.  HAHA!  Remember xanga?  I was about 19 or 20 yrs old in this blast from the plast.  I look at this and wonder how i went to class with pink hair.  And how i managed a shag like that (i think i used wax?)  My sister cut my hair into that shag bob in college because i hated my long, curly hair at the time.  She didn't even use shears, she used those regular orange scissors.

I started club hopping at a wee age, around 16 yrs old.  I'd glam up and get into my tightest, bootiest revealingest dress, get to the club early, walk around like I owned the place, and then slowly slide into the cashier position and start collecting cover cash (so, so BAD!)  If anyone asked me what I was doing or whether or not I worked there, I'd stare them down like they were the world's biggest idiot, roll my eyes, and continue doing what I was doing. Obviously,  I was a very naughty clubkid. 

Sidenote:  being platinum is so much work.  The bleach.  The pain.  Did i mention the pain?  I never stayed at the salon for less than 5 hours, once every 3 wks.  Thinking about it now, I don't know how I had the patience to maintain it for as long as I did.

anDEN, one day I woke up and...POOF.

 I guess I thought that flipping a 180 would tame me.  My bf at the time sure did.  

Sorta.  To my grandparents and adults i was a better girl and more likely to be successful and find a good husband and all that zzzzzzz.  But inside, i felt like the same wacky Peabrain, only not as comfy in my skin.  Not that having dark hair wasn't fun or anything, but i missed the old me, and i felt like i didn't stand out anymore.  It took a lot of excitement out of my life, as lame as that sounds.  Plus, i felt like i had to tone down my personality to match my looks.  i was a sad pea and felt restricted and muted, just like i did while i was going out with my last boyfriend.  Disclaimer:  black hair isn't boring, btw.  i'm just reDICK and not used to it.  And it goes to show how stupid little superficial things like a gal's HAIR could have such an affect on how she feels about herself.  It's almost like gender roles or sumpthing. *shrugs* 

My sister already mentioned in a previous post...we weren't those kiddos that got jobs when we turned 16... except that 4-day stint at Putt Putt Golf and Games when i was a freshman in high school.  Work just wasn't our thing.  We're not spoiled or anything.  Honest.  Mum just thought it was best for us to focus on school.  So she never taught us the value of a dollar or what it means to work.  Now we know because we're older and reality has totally smacked me over the head, especially now that i'm out on my own.  And ever since i've been gypsying about on my own, a lot of people in the biz have told me that nobody will ever take me seriously if i don't tone it down and darken my locks.  Yes, my hair is a big deal and yes, i need to dye it! etc. etc... 

I considered it... and went darker.  Maybe everyone's right.  Maybe i have to.  I have to change me to be just right.  That lasted for about a month and i went back to my old hair again.  Not the crazy platinum of my extreme youth, but the dirty blonde/ash light brown i have today.  A compromise.  My light hair makes me oh so heppy.  HAHA.   And I can honestly and confidently say that I am a mixture of blonde and brunette, work and play, child and adult...a constant mighty morphin power ranger.

Lesson learned:  beeee yourself!  Do what makes you happy.  Be comfortable in your skin! :)  happy hippy thoughts today, my friends.

Somewhere

This film will be Stephen Dorff's The Wrestler.  

2010 Winner of the Golden Lion, the Venice Film Festival's top prize.

HOLY MOTHER OF HOTNESS.

Oh GAWD.  I just got a dorky, fanfiction BONER from seeing my most favorite actress in the universe, MICHELLE WILLIAMS, and quite possibly the hottest Canadian actor ever, Ryan Gosling, in this October W Mag cover.  I DIE because i'm one of those Notebook losers who becomes obsessed with the fantasy that the romance between two movie stars on film has secretly translated to real life and vice versa a la Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.  The last time this type of fantasy became a fulfilling reality for me was when Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger hooked up on the Brokeback Mountain set.  I was so deathly happy.  And then when i read that Michelle and Ryan were doing a Derek Cianfrance film together ~ and a superhot, borderline smutty indie flick at that ~ i dunno how to explain the feeling.  For you dudes, it's like if you're a Miami Heat fan and you find out Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James are all going to be on the same team.  Man, I need a new hobby or a new obsession that is socially acceptable or monetarily lucrative.  *cryingface*  But i can't help it!!!  SERIOUSLAHHH~ this COVER!  Everything's gonna explode 'n collapse from too much hotness!!!  How gorgeous a couple do they make?  I LOVE THEM.  i loved Ryan since The Believer where his self-loathing character plays a Jewish boy who hides his Jewiosity behind his Skinheadosity.  I downloaded and watched it in Korea some years ago, and i was like zoh. my. got.  he's going to be a STAH.  And then he was awesome in Half Nelson, and then he was weird and lovable in Lars and the Real Girl.  I think he's the real deal... all those Mickey Mouse Club alums are.  I'm telling you now, Michelle Williams is going to become a megastar.  She's ridiculously talented and nobody has a more expressive, emotive, pixie-perfect face for the big screen.

I cannot WAIT for Blue Valentine. It's already the movie of the year for me!

Hair...Netflix...Hollywood Hills...Ktown...Etc.

Currently on Rotation:  Midnight Coward by Stars

Current Mood:  Contemplative

MLK once said that if  you can't find something worth living for, you're not living at all.  So, I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I'm damn sure that whatever it is, it won't be boring.

*I wrote that at 4am this morning...completely shitfaced. I know I know, so deep.*

Labor day weekend was very chilLAX.  I went to Beverly Hills, got my roots done, and then I basically wasted my freshly bleached hair by tying it up in a bun, locking myself indoors, getting into hibernation mode, and watching a billion movies on netflix...continual rotation for hours and hours...pausing only to run to the bathroom or pick up the phone.  BUT!  i'm not nearly as bad as my sister who famously "blacked out" on Sopranos, locking herself in a dark room for 3 days & watching six seasons straight.  That's 86 episodes.  Gross!  She says it's very possible to have TV blackout with the show "The Wire" as well.  I never saw The Wire.  And i never had a TV blackout, but it doesn't seem too cool.... and it didn't look so cool seeing her with bags under her eyes and gross hair when she finally came out of the dark room and into the light.  I prefer to watch TV like normal people, in healthy doses.  Not OD like a psycho.

Anyways, on Tuesday I started to get cabin fever... so I decided to call up a boybestie and went out for drinks.  Never again am I going to pretend that the night will end early, that I WON'T down shot after shot, that I won't lose an earring...OR A SHOE for that matter.  It's amazing how many jjakjehgee shoes I own--i've got myself a nice collection now.  Anyway, I got picked up and transported to Yamashiro in the Hollywood Hills.  The view is lovely.  Pam, from True Blood was there.  She looked kinda wrinkly, but still very pretty.

Anyway, they kicked us out just as we were getting in the drinking zone.  You know, that place between feeling buzzed and BUZZED?!?!

So we went to KTOWN.

And ordered Patron.  By the Bottle.

The end.

I went to work completely drunk the next morning.  After a long day's work, I went home, hoping to hop into my skivvies and sleep it off...WRONG.  I got a call from Jason oppa and his business friends.  An unavoidable drinking session with a coupla oppas.  And it happens again.

Henny. By the Bottle.

The end.

UGHH!!!  Why do we do this to ourselves?

quick blurbs

• i think i may be dying my hair dark soon, really soon.  I'm aching for a change.  i'll probably go dark brown or black because i'd like to resemble a normal Asian again.  but i will miss the "shock factor" aspect of being blonde from the back and then turning around and KABLAM! tri neese.  *bow*  i'm going to have to purchase new hair extensions before dying it, however, as i cannot live without hair extensions (safety blanket).  *EDIT!* ok, now i'm rethinking jetblack.  i'll probably dye it chestnut brown.
• i have to watch Wendy and Lucy and Meek's Cutoff to see what all this Kelly Reichardt plus Michelle Williams hype is all about.  Michelle Williams is my favorite actress, as you probably know.  *EDIT!*  ok, i saw Wendy and Lucy tonight.  It's this tiny verite-style indie drama about life from the viewpoint of the dispossessed (michelle williams) and holy SHMOKES ~she is magnificent.  glad i watched that, if only for her performance.  don't watch it if you can't stand indie dramas that have no significant plot or dialogue.  this one's pretty much a character study. 
• i watched Eros last night.  Wong Kar Wai makes the rain look beautiful and so terribly sad.   
• I also saw Atom Egoyan's The Sweet Hereafter and Sarah Polley kind of freaks me out now.  She's kinda like a possessed genius.  She was supposed to play Penny Lane in Almost Famous and when she decided against the role, Brad Pitt (who was later replaced by Billy Crudup) dropped out.  He only wanted to do the movie if Sarah Polley was attached.  Can you imagine what a different movie it wouldve been starring Brad Pitt and Sarah Polley?
• What's all the fuss with The Sweet Hereafter, anyways?  I was left feeling empty and creeped out by all the Pied Piper of Hamelin references and the incest between Sarah Polley's character and her dad.  i didn't care for the movie at all.  but my two favorite film critics of all time, james berardinelli from reelviews.com and Peter Travers from Rolling Stone, practically busted an egg over it.  so i TRIIIIED to like it, too.  Fail.  :( 
• I must see:  London Boulevard, Black Swan, Rabbit Hole, Somewhere, and Blue Valentine (also starring Michelle Williams... and Ryan Gosling.

ok that's it for now.... i need to take a shower and eat some antibiotics... i've been super under the weather lately - triggered by my period!  =(

Today i was so brave~ AAACK!  *sorry ~ still feeling shock of the adrenaline!*
As you know, i'm deathly shy and afraid of confrontation.  But today, i conquered my fear head on.  Well... kinda....

For a few months now, our upstairs neighbors have been retardedly loud, letting their two big dogs run and jump around causing a mini earthquake in our unit at the most random hours of the day and night.  So i grit my teeth and tried to be patient, but after awhile, it grew into me trying to get USED TO IT (can u believe?), which then led to me having mini panic attacks and crying.  See?  i can withstand a lot before i'll go confront a neighbor.  i'm such a freaking pushover!!!

So today, after being startled awake by the sound of crazy stomping dogs, (and i refuse, refuuuuse to be roused from my slumber by anything other than the severe urge to peepee or a ring from my sister) i wrote a severe, threatening letter (2 pages long) and sneaked upstairs and taped it to their door as quick as i could before scampering downstairs w/ my heart all pounding.  Too bad it was on Hello Kitty stationary because i have no regular college rule paper.   

Let's see if it still continues....

EDIT Sunday Sept 5, 10:10pm --  i just climbed on top of the couch onto my tippytoes to knock on the ceiling and the couch tipped over and i fell onto the vase with branches and came crashing down.  I'm almost in tears!  i'm SO ANGRY!!!  i'm going to threaten the front desk tomorrow morning.  oh crap, it's labor day and they're probably off!  oh well ~ on tuesday i'm going to take my Doggy Chart and show them i mean business.  i've been documenting all the times i'm hearing either barking or stomping along with degree of loudness from 1-5, 5 being loudest.  i'm FUMING right now.  my bum hurts and i got a splinter from one of the branches i fell on.  i literally landed on top of all of them like a frigging sacrificial lamb.


i'm going to go cry now.

more random peaisms

1. You can never have too many matching bra and panty sets. Ask my sister-- she swore to kick my ass if I purchased any more undergarments... (so i do it in secret. HA!)  i have a reckless and destructive rship with Kiki de Montparnasse.  It's not even that I love showing off my knickers to beaus.  I just think they're pretty.  When I wake up in the morning and I throw on a tee shirt, I still feel girly with my pretty undergarments.  PLUS, you never know where the day will take you.   *eyebrow wiggle
2. Heels less than 4" are unacceptable.  Some girls can pull off the kitten heels or the flats or the loafers; i canNOT.  Go high or go flipflop!  When i see Reese Witherspoon in those 3" loo boo tans, i shriek, faint, and die a little inside all melodramatically.  like a black and white silent picture.  
3. South Park is the funniest show in the world.
4. Espresso in the morning is absolutely necessary to function.  If I ever turned into a homelesspea, I'd hold up a sign that says, "Will work for espresso beans," anDEN I'd run up to your car and wash your window with starbucks napkins.   and collect the beans in my pockets til i have enough to roast.
5. I can't stand perfumes and lotions that smell fruity like cheap lotion or antibacterial hand gel.  I've heard that for guys, Bath & Body Works country apple or sun-ripened raspberry lotion on girls = automatic boner potions.  But with fragrances, i always stick to bold scents with spicy and woody notes.  
6. I won't be the first one to say, "I love you." I'm not brave enough, nor will I ever be.  I already know this.
   
   
   
7. You can never have too many cocktail dresses... or heels for that matter. I have a closet full of things I have YET to wear. As I shop, I say to maself, "Omigoodness, this would be perfect for ___________."  I get sudden debilitating hot(outfit)flashes when i see the perfect dress for the perfect occasion or outing that would go with a necklace or clutch or shoes i have at home to make the perfect ensemble. So I proceed to the cash register, swipe card, and then hang it in my closet.  Next to all the other abandoned dresses.  It's a SICKNESS.  To me, dresses and heels are like wearable art.  They decorate my place perfectly. 
8. "A guy and a girl can just be friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever." -Dave Matthews.  I LOVE THIS QUOTE!  that's why i put it on our side bar over there. ===>
9. Having a boyfriend is like finding a quarter on the sidewalk.  You get really happy cos you found something shiny and... omigat!! It's head's up! BUT having a girlfriend is like finding $20 in your back pocket.  You forget it was there, but unexpectedly, when you slip your hand back there and find it, it saves you. $20 = Girlfriends.  $0.25 = Boyfriends.
10. Meeting people who can consume large quantities of alcohol - what's more impressive and fun that that?  BUT!  It's cooler for someone who can't drink to just NOT drink, instead of trying to pound away, turning beet purple, getting kicked out of club, and puking all over the place.  Why's it so unnervingly gross when guys puke?  MEN are NOT supposed to be alcoholically vulnerable like that!  PERIOD!
11. Make me laugh and I'll give you my heart forever.
12. Date Older. I have this weird obsession with guys in their 30's.  Maybe it's the daddy issues creeping in somewhere... but as long as I've known myself, I've adored older men.  I'm a wide-eyed child in awe of everything they do and say.   My sis says i need to stop this because i'm too immature for an older guy.
13. JUXTAPOSE EVERYTHING!!   that is my cardinal rule of dressing.  JUXTAPOSITION. 
14. Liquids that will always be stocked in my fridge till I'm old and gray:  Simply Orange OJ, Beer (for guests), H2O, Cranberry juice, Ginger Ale, Diet Dr. Pepper, Patron, Ketel, some type of Dry Champagne.  Oh, and dry white wine - my sister says you cannot cook anything without a good sauvignon blanc.  A little for the chicken, a bottle for the cook. 
15. When in doubt, blackout.  Oh, i'm just kidding. well, sort of. 
16. Be nice to the door man. 'Cos he'll carry your groceries to your door.
    
    
     
17. Music rocks my world. I'll marry a gittar player one day. But he must also be a professional baseball player too... cos i promised my gramma.  (She's obsessed with the Braves).
18. Getting older has taught me one important truth: Being an adult and growing up is tough. It's not easy. So find the person(s) that makes it exciting...adventurous... and never let go. 

The wise and quoteworthy Karl Lagerfeld spoke out on a few celebs and i found these 2 quotes applicable to certain ppl i know, especially the one on Kate Moss.  (Lagerfeld heads the house of Chanel if you didn't know...he's like this old grampa man who looks sorta like George Washington.  it's the hair).   He's very gay, very fierce, and don't ask him to remove his sunglasses because he will call you a disgusting pig without moving a facial muscle.

on Lindsay Lohan:
"Shes somebody you want to protect, because she plays dangerously with her own life. She behaves like an over-grown-up person, and that's what I like about her. It's like she's 45, but in fact, shes 20."

on Kate Moss:
"Girls have wanted to look like Kate Moss since she was an emaciated 15-year-old.  Kate Moss has a lot of courage in the way she throws her life away in a very dangerous way, but that makes her so touching."

<3

My Friday

After a long day at work, I got home, tossed my keys in the dish, poured myself a large glass of wine and hopped into my pjs.  And then my pal Mark asks me, "How long does it take you to get ready?" I've never gotten ready so quickly in my life.  I'm talking about zero to liftoff (from pjs to full showered freshness + full makeup + curled hair) in 30 mins.

See, here's my predicament.  It's not that I'm intentionally being antisocial and avoiding going out and partying or seeing my friends.  And it's not only because I'm super exhausted all the time.  It's because I hate hate hate driving and suck at it.  So if I'm going out, I always have to be picked up.  In Atlanta, it's already understood:  girls are picked up/dropped off and they never pay for squat.  In LA, chicks drive everywhere and paying for food/drinks is pretty normal.  I'm JUST now getting the hang of it.  Maybe being a southern bellini all my life has done spoiled me.  *shrug*

Anyway, so i got scooped up and off to Hollywood we went.  When i stepped into Birds I immediately got transported back to Athens, my collegetown.  The bar was exploding with the typical Hollywood fare... those that look effortlessly disheveled but in that suspiciously calculated and deliberate way.  I bet you every single one of them were musicians of some sort.  Inneresting.  I remember watching Californication reruns and hearing a quote that went something like:  "the amount of talent in LA at any given moment is incomparable."  I believe that's true.  Well at least the amount of big dreams anyway.  It seems everyone has stars in their eyes.  *sigh*  including myself, of course.  

I squeezed my way through the crowd and signaled for the bartender: "2 shots of patron, one cran and kettle, and a miller light please!"  The total was $12 dollars.  I kinda died a little right there.  It was like PowerHour Thursdays at UGA.... and I felt right at home.  The smell of spilled beer on cracked wooden floors... the gross bathrooms.... but I loved it.  It gave me a piece of home.

I love it when you get into that inexplicable groove while conversing with a friend... I love how you can talk about meaningless nothings yet, you leave the conversation feeling so full and satisfied.  Friday was one of those nights.  It's these kinds of nights that I have with new friends in LA that I adore.  Completely unplanned and unexpected -- why is it those kind of situations that you end up having the most fun?

PS. 

Gahd, i love the way Bryanboy writes.  So unique and clever and cute.  I love his fearlessness!

• "Ecstasy dealer isdatchu?"
• "It's not fashion-fail, it's fashion guru ahead-of-the-curve amaze."
• "I'm gaysian and can easily pass for a pre-teen."
• "Please tell me this is a pisstake."
• "What kind of fuckery is that?"

PPS.  This just in~ i realize i miss home. I'm thinking about taking a holiday back to the South soon.  My sis says let's all go to Mexico and unwind.  Sounds so delicious right about now....

PPPS.  I'm not supposed to say anything, but we (our blog) might be published in the near future!  Here's hoping for the stars!

xoxo, Ast

Heroine n. - female hero or protagonist!!

So for the first time in my LIFE ~ i'm on a mad egghunt for a mofuggin jaaaab.  I am spoll'd (paula deen accent) cuz i have never been told to get a jaaab in my entire life.  and i've always had a constant flow.  Now, i need a jaaab because that flow has become a trickle.  i can no longer travel the world and party with my sister because my grandparents are starting to get pissed.  My grandpops has glaucoma and can hardly see, but i can still detect the look of disappointment and consternation in his cloudy eyes when he looks at me.  *sob!*  So i'm trying to find a job.  Not a bartending job for fun and free alcohol.  A day job.  Can someone help me?  i'd make a killer secretary or frontdesk with my organizational skills (and killer kitten heel, business skirt, and cardigan arsenal) and i can count money faster than a bank grade bill counter machine bc i'm used to making it rain.  My grammar and paragraph editing skills are off the chain and i scored nearly perfect on the verbal portion of the SATs.  I am also somewhat funny and do not require lunch breaks because i eat through osmosis ~ touching fashion magazines. But seriously, i'd be an ideal coworker or employee, trust me!  i can pretty much do any kind of job minus hard labor.  and i'm a good writer and cute!  i will be as endearingly earnest and dilligent as a pornstar trying their best to act (despite no voice inflections or facial expressions ~ fast forward....)  So please, drop me a line!

Since the begining of time, have i, liz park, been a super eager kid on the brink of overzealousness (since before the dawn of the ADHD age).  When i was in elementary school, i experienced unfair punishment and spankings by the headmaster many times.  I look back fondly on these memories now, because i think elementary school Lizbert was a hilarious little rebel.  I had coke bottle glasses and permed hair.  I was super smart and liked to talk about disturbing things to my classmates, such as seeing my poor dead kitten with its mouth open and poop coming out of his butt cuz he got accidentally smushed by a fallen pot in the backyard.  Nothing made my heart explode with glee than the EWWWW's!!! and the GROSSSS's!!! of my fellow classmates.

In the 3rd grade, i turned in a homework assignment in which we were to write a sentence for and draw a picture of each spelling word on the week's list.  For the word "heroine" i drew a picture of a baggie with powder in it.  As if that was not enough--as if my illustration was not heroiney enough-- i drew a mofuggin syringe next to it.  My syringe looked like a space rocket.  I still remember what was going through my head:  "Since the baggie is clear and the powder is white, what color pencil do i use?  White pencil won't show up on white paper!!!  OH NO!"  So i used the sky blue pencil.  It was a totally honest mistake; and is a testament to my unintentional keenness to everything in the world--even things i did not understand at all--not to mention my slight offness as a child.  But i got in a world of trouble for it and a meeting with my mom and teacher.   

Heroine n.-female hero or protagonist.

Why did i tell you that story?  i dunno.  Sometimes i reminisce and feel a bit sad for my young self and then i look at my old self, present day, and i feel a bit sad.